--When God prompts…it’s important to listen

by Lynne Ellis

I’m forever grateful to China.

That big, beautiful, complex, dynamic, and even conflicted country gave me the greatest gift of life. My daughter.

I first discovered China on a work related trip some 10 years ago. I was mesmerized at the contrast of ancient and future that blends in hazy daylight of the countryside or under the panorama of glitzy lights in the cities.

You could watch skyscrapers being erected by men scurrying up bamboo scaffolding with buckets of cement mixed in the holes in the street. Or sitting in a teahouse experiencing the ritual and art of tea as the sounds of the city were carried in by the breeze. It was completely fascinating. Even the Great Wall and the Forbidden City were not untouched by globalization with its own Starbucks and KFC tucked into a corner of its aged walls.

But mostly, I fell in love with a gracious people who had emerged from the effects of the Tiananmen Square incident with a quandary of love for their country, but lacking belief in the ethos of communism that had ruled. These courteous, hospitable people that delighted in practicing English on the streets would invite you into their modest home to share tea and karaoke songs.

So when God prompted my heart to adopt a baby, I knew instantly I wanted to pursue China. Out of an attempt at moving 1 billion people into modernity within 30 years, the government had sought to control its population through their one-child policy. Families were monitored and allowed one child only. There are countless little lost bundles of love left on doorsteps of orphanages for many reasons – poverty, timing, gender preference … all needing care and families.

My daughter was born in the Jiangxi province, known both for the craftsmanship of their bone china and for their poverty. The process the Chinese government has you go through can feel intimidating. The fate of the love of your life lay in their hands as they question you on how you will care for this child. I had already jumped through the adoption hoops on the U.S. side and had spent months “pregnant” with paperwork on the China side. This was the moment that my almond-shaped eyes little girl became mine.

I was impressed with the procedure. In preparing to pick her up, I read the stories of others before me. My experience in China mirrored theirs. From the moment they placed her in my arms, there was paperwork, doctor visits, more paperwork, official’s questions, and at last, the appropriate stamping. Yet, through it all, I was surprised at how well the Chinese officials moved the process with dignity.

As I tell her our story, I share about the puffy matching clothes they had our batch of children dressed in. I tell her about the seven layers of clothes she wore the day I got her. When I kissed her head, it smelled like firewood and garlic. After undressing, her little body was scrawny and marked with scabies and scratches. I bathed and cleaned her. It took days for the campfire smell to wash away. The confusion on her face melted into calm and then giggles as the days rolled into the weeks I spent in China.

China is doing its best to care and adopt out orphans, even in spite of losing face internationally. (It is a very high value in Asian cultures to be viewed favorably by others—to bring shame is to “lose face”.) China has opened the door to children being cared for by foreigners around the world. They could have kept that hidden, but have bravely chosen to share their children with the world.

Since one in five people on the planet is Chinese, my daughter sees plenty of children and adults that look like her. We see each other – not Chinese and Caucasian, but mommy and child.

There is a beautiful Chinese proverb about a thin red (the color of blessing) string that connects the heart of a child with every significant adult they will meet in their life. The thread shrinks as she meets those dear to her heart. My daughter’s thread spans continents as my heart is mingled with her heart and our blended heart is connected to her Chinese birth mother. It is a cross-cultural tapestry woven by love.

I love China. I am forever grateful.

Lynne Ellis has led multiple groups of people into China over the last decade, teaching English and building bridges of love. She lives with her daughter Jadyn in Washington, USA where she is a minister, speaker, and Life-coach. Contact Lynne at: LynneE@ipursuit.org.