by Michele Howe

It was every international traveler’s nightmare; being stuck between flights at an airport.

Our entire travel group watched with exhausted dismay as the electronic departure sign at the under-construction Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris, France intermittedly displayed, and then removed the last leg of our flight into Venice, Italy.

After having flown a sleepless eight hours through the night, most of us in our group were tired, cranky, and out of sorts, each wanting to get on the next plane only to end our journey ASAP. One row over a young American woman was walking back to her small family rolling her eyes with contempt and complaining loudly, as if they had deliberately lied to her, “They say they can’t get us on another flight, nothing is available.” Her assumption appeared to be that the overworked attendants had singled her out from everyone else and she snarled at her husband, “Can’t you do something about this?”

Watching for any sign that our flight via Air France would appear again on the board, we grew bored and began to people-watch. I was appalled as I listened to several American conversations around me. I heard complaints about the “bad service” when you travel internationally. “No one cares about your personal needs anymore.” “We had garbage to eat on the plane.” And, “They used to give us blankets and free ear phones. Are they dropping all the amenities?”

I didn't know which was worse, that feeling of being stuck in an airport or being labeled as an elitist American with poor travel manners. Our stomachs growling, a couple of us found a fast food restaurant. We watched as a teenager with her parents asked for a couple more ketchup packets. When told she’d have to pay for more, she fussed, “In America we can have five free ketchups if we want them!”

Yes, we all get grumpy when we’re tired and the flight is cancelled. Still, there's no excuse for bad behavior, especially when one's feet are resting upon foreign soil. With dismay, sitting in the Paris airport, I could understand why so many of the French dislike visitors from the U.S. On that day, I witnessed several Americans demand in loud voices and angry faces that their flight be rescheduled! Yesterday!

Fast-forward another eight hours, our entire tour group of thirty-eight men and women have left Paris and flown in on the next airplane to Venice. We were happily ensconced at the Hotel Saturnia where every guest was treated with the utmost courtesy, so it was a simple matter to respond in kind. Still there were moments during the upcoming days when we witnessed more uncivil and even bizarre behavior from our fellow U.S. citizens.

One disgruntled American was standing at the reception desk to check-in. He was complaining because his wife had called the hotel from the airport and they had not spoken English to her. “What were you thinking? Why don’t you have an English-speaking person at the telephone?” We were wondering whether he realized that he wasn’t in Kansas anymore.

It would have been comical, had it not been for the fact that they also represented me as an American. I cringed — and not for the last time during our nine-day excursion — at the behavior we observed toward our very gracious Italian hosts.

We raised the issue with Hotel Saturnia’s chief concierge, Andrea Scarpa. According to Scarpa, some Americans were simply unaware of how their attitudes and actions were affecting native Venetians.

What we learned…

--Most Italians view Americans, despite their foibles and lack of travel savvy as "fantastic" in comparison to guests from across the globe. Scarpa says that what Italians most appreciate about Americans visiting their country is their open expression and appreciation upon receiving a good meal (as in spaghetti) or after a good rest (as in a hot shower).

--Americans tend to make requests for the best restaurants, best shopping rather than the cheapest or most convenient. Most Americans make their requests kindly and warmly, and they tip more generously than most Europeans. Kudos to Americans for expressing their thanks monetarily.

--On the negative side, Scarpa noted that Americans often ignore signs at the entrances requesting appropriate attire in Italian places of worship, they often fail to dress appropriately for viewing churches and museums by assuming shorts, tank tops and bare midriffs are acceptable attire.

--Americans traveling in tour groups are sometimes "cheap" guests. They exchange Euro notes into small coins countless times a day in order to leave super small tips. On the other extreme, wealthy Americans sometimes come with an attitude of expectancy and entitlement that is not appreciated.

--Another interesting aside is that Americans differ substantially in their behavior depending upon which part of the U.S. they’re from. Scarpa says his staff can now determine which state their American guests are from based on their habits and demands. We agreed with him; no surprise there.

Midway through our trip, we had the privilege of enjoying and consuming a five-course meal at an expensive restaurant highly recommended by our concierge. Yet the evening was a mixed bag … excellent food amidst poster child dining companions for the ugly American. Our attentive waiter of this elegant Venetian restaurant, Bistro de Venise, chided the few Americans who were demonstrating a churlish attitude midway through the third course when the waiter had had enough of their bad manners, "This Is Not Italy, USA!"

Effectively chastised, and the errant few quietly demurred. At the least, this cultured gentleman did not resort to what an American staff person might have demanded (and rightly so), "Via! Se ne vada!" (“Get out!”).

Here are some quick travel tips from a seasoned European traveler, Professor Christine Reising, Art Program Chairperson at Siena Heights University:

--Always think of oneself as a guest and act accordingly.

--Rather than stick out, dress like a local.

--Be cognizant of one's surroundings and behave like the residents.

--Being quiet and polite are good starting (and ending) points.

Michele Howe is a copywriter for New Growth Press and is the author of ten books for women including: “Going It Alone: Meeting the Challenges of Being a Single Mom,” “Prayers for Homeschool Moms,” “Prayers for New and Expecting Moms,” “Prayers to Nourish a Woman's Heart,” and “Prayers of Comfort and Strength.” Her 2008 titles to be released are “Faith, Friends, and Other Floatation Devices,” “Still Going It Alone,” and “Mothering with Faith.” Michele has a syndicated lifestyle column, “Embracing Life's Curves” -- Contact Michele at: www.bizymoms.com/experts/michele-howe/index.html

Embracing Life's Curves Columnist
Syndicated Writers of America

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